A Hot Slice Of Christmas

(It’s Christmas Eve. We’ve closed extremely early and aren’t taking any more orders. I’m here cleaning the dishwasher as my manager is counting the til. We’re the last two to leave. The phone rings:)

Me: *picks up* “Hello, this is [Pizza Place].”

Customer: “Hi, can I get…” *lists off 15 food items before I can say anything*

Me: “Unfortunately, madam, we closed early for Christmas Eve.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! Your website says you’re open until 11 pm!”

Me: “Yes, but because of Christmas Eve, we closed at seven.”

Customer: “Well, you’re still there, so make my d*** order!”

Me: “I can’t. The ovens are off, as are the fryers. Plus I’m not qualified to use either of them.”

Customer: “F*** you! You ruined my family’s Christmas!” *click*

Me: *puts the phone down and walks over to my manager* “Apparently I ruined Christmas because that lady isn’t getting her intake of pizza.”

Manager: “Well, merry f****** Christmas. The beer is on me!”