Giving You Some Lip-Schtick

I help people with their problems on their applications.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. This is the helpline; how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need help with ya computer s***.”

Me: “Okay, I’m glad to help. What do you see on your desktop computer that is giving you problems?”

Customer: “I see my TV dinner, Pepsi cola, and lipstick. How in da h*** are you going to help me asking what I am eating?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am asking what’s on your desktop screen; is it on?”

Customer: “Oh, nah, it’s blank. How do you turn it on?”

Me: “It’s like a car; you must press the button to start it.”

Customer: “I don’t have no keys for this s***.”