Friendship Bride-Fades Away

| St Paul, MN, USA | Friendly | July 2, 2016

(My first dealing with my future wife’s “best friend” happens online, when she tries to reject the color of her bridesmaid dress, orders a dress that doesn’t fit, then tries to wear a white dress because “black is too plain!”. My fiance and I agree that — due to death threats from my family because we’re both female — our wedding will be a drama-free zone, and that if Friend causes any more drama she will be out of the wedding party.)

Me: “Babe… have you checked our event page on Facebook?”

Fiancé: “No, why?”

Me: “[Friend] just wrote on the wall. She has to work that day.”

Fiancé: “WHAT?!” *begins texting* “It’s eleven days before the wedding and you’re not only bailing, you’re telling me over Facebook? You can’t even call me? Are you serious?!”

Friend: “It seems like you don’t want me at the wedding anyway. And it doesn’t sound like you. You never wanted a white wedding.”

Fiancé: “What does that even mean? ‘White wedding’? And I asked you to be a bridesmaid so of course I wanted you there. This is not cool, [Friend], not at all. You’ve known for months what day the wedding is on and you didn’t ask for it off?”

(Luckily, a friend of ours is able to step up. Then a few days later Friend’s MOTHER messages my fiancé over Facebook.)

Fiancé: “So apparently [Friend] wants to come to the wedding after work. She gets off at seven.”

Me: “I am not too crazy about that idea, but that aside aren’t we going to be done by seven? And why is her mother telling us this? Shouldn’t she be talking to us?”

(We agreed that we both wanted an apology from Friend before we would consider allowing her to attend the wedding, and that it needed to be sincere and come at least two days before the ceremony so we could talk about it. We didn’t hear from Friend until we were having dinner with the bridal party after the rehearsal, less than twelve hours before we were due to get married. When we said no, Friend’s mother called my mother-in-law to complain. Neither Friend nor her mother came to the wedding, and my wife and I had a lovely ceremony anyway.)

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