Driving Me To Steal

(I’m driving a box truck on the way to a delivery and my passenger mirror keeps hitting tree branches that are hanging close to the road.)

Coworker: *after hitting a branch* “D***, girl, drive it like you stole it!”

Me: “I’ve never understood that phrase. If I stole a car I would still drive like a conscientious citizen so as not to draw police attention to the fact that I’m driving a stolen car.”

Coworker: “…Well, do that now, then!”