Don’t Play Games With Waitstaff, They Can Do Dances Around You

I am a waitress walking up to a group of guys who have just been sat in my section.

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name] and I’ll be your waitress this evening, what can I get you started with?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you start us off with one of the prettier waitresses? If I’m paying this place’s prices, I don’t want to be served by one of the ugly ones.”

Me: “And I don’t want to have to serve one of the uglier customers, and if I am getting the s***ty tips I usually get I want to serve one of the hotter ones.”

Customer: “That… that was actually pretty awesome.”

Me: “I know. Shall we get you started on drinks, and we’ll have none of the comments?”

They were perfectly behaved for the rest of the night, and I got a decent (if not amazing) tip!