Don’t Cook Their Goose

(I’m a computer programmer, but just for fun, I’ve volunteered to help organize the company Christmas potluck lunch. The deal is that employees can either donate $10 or a food item that was roughly worth $10.)

Employee: “I’m going to bring in some kielbasa –” *a type of sausage* “– but I’ll need you to cook it for me.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t do that.”

Employee: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, for one thing, we don’t have anything to cook it with, except for the microwaves. For another, that’s not my job.”

Employee: “But it’ll need to be cooked! If it’s raw, people will get sick!”

Me: “Then cook it yourself, or, better yet, bring something that doesn’t need to be cooked.”

Employee: *pulls out a $10 bill and throws it in my face* “That’s too much trouble. HERE!”

(Funny how it only became “too much trouble” when HE was the one who’d have to do it…)