Different Hemispheres Of Language

(I had a normal day once. It was a Thursday.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Car Insurance]. How can I help?”

Angry Client: “YOU’RE ALWAYS GIVING ME DIFFERENT F****** DIFFERENT PRICES FOR MY CARS!”

Me: “Sir, please can you provide your details so I can look into this for you.”

Angry Client: “It’s f****** [details]!”

Me: “Please, sir, refrain from swearing. I’m trying to help.”

Angry Client: “It’s f****** normal where I’m from; we talk to all bloody offices like this!”

Me: “Sir, I can tell by your accent you are from [Country in Southern Hemisphere].”

Angry Client: “Yeah, so? What about it?!”

Me: “Well, sir, I am also from [Country in Southern Hemisphere] but do not speak with an accent. I have never spoken to anyone the way you have spoken to me. Also, this country is not [Country in Southern Hemisphere], and they do not expect to be spoken to the way you have spoken to me. While we have been chatting, I’ve looked at your account. We have not changed anything on your account. You keep changing things, causing different prices, and you have spoken to four different people with different information, so you would have four different prices. Now, can I help you with anything?”

Angry Client: *silence then murmuring*

Me: “Sir? Can I help you?”

Angry Client: “I’m sorry. I’ll accept the first quote.”

(After this call, which the whole office listened to, I was told to go and have a break and look at videos of pug puppies… It helps.)