Archive for 2013

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Intelligence Thrown Overboard

| Denmark | Related | October 2, 2013

(I am with my family on a weekend trip. We visit a historical ship that used to be a war ship back in 1864. I am walking below deck with my dad, when he remarks upon the lift installed for physically impaired tourists visiting the ship.)

Dad: “Oh look, they had an elevator! That’s smart!”

Me: *thinking that my dad is joking* “Oh yes! They must have used it to carry the cannonballs and luggage.”

Dad: “I wonder how they powered it? Maybe it was steam-powered.”

(I realize that my dad is completely serious.)

Me: “Dad, you don’t really think they put up elevators with signs that said ‘max. 6 persons’ in 1864 do you?”

Dad: “Oh! No! Please don’t tell anyone I said that!”

The Birds And The Bees Have Escaped

| NJ, USA | Related | October 2, 2013

(I am about nine years old, and my younger brother is about six. I have gotten the basic puberty talk at school today.)

Me: *enters house and drops backpack* “I learned about babies today! THEY COME OUT A WOMAN’S VAGINA!”

Dad: “Oh God.”

Younger Brother: “What’s a vagina?”

Mom: “CRAP! YOU TAKE HIM; I GOT HER!”

(We were both grabbed by the back of our shirts and taken to our rooms for ‘the talk.’)

Undo! Undo!

| Romantic | October 2, 2013

funny Geek Relationship Between Boy and Girl

Getting The Wrong Context

| Miami, FL, USA | Romantic | October 2, 2013

(My colleague comes to work very upset. Her boyfriend has sent her a text that morning which reads ‘F*** YOU!’ She calls him to demand an explanation and an apology.)

Colleague’s Boyfriend: “I’ll be happy to apologize to you just as soon as I can think of a way to explain to my best friend why I sent him a text telling him I love him and can’t wait to make love to him all night.”

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Legendary Persuasion Skills

| France | Romantic | October 2, 2013

(My boyfriend and I both play an online arena game called ‘League of Legends’ where only the player who gives the last shot on the enemy gets the kill point while those who fought alongside only get the assist point. My boyfriend and Friend #1 have tried for some time to convince Friend #2 to subscribe, but he still refuses. I tell my boyfriend that I’ll convince him.)

Me: *during a phone conversation* “Hey, why don’t you join us on League of Legends? It would be fun!”

Friend #2: “Yeah, I’m not so sure.”

Me: “Oh come on! I’m still low level; you can learn with me! We’ll make a team of our own with [Boyfriend] and [Friend #1]!”

Friend #2: “Well okay then; let’s do this.”

(We hang up, and I feel rather proud.)

Me: “See! I told you I would convince him!”

Boyfriend: “Well, of course it was easy! [Friend #1] and I have been working on him for months; it doesn’t count.”

Me: “Who cares? I get the kill; you two only get the assist! Skill, honey, skill!”

Boyfriend: “I think you play too much.”

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