Archive for 2013

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Mirror Stairs

| Working | October 2, 2013

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Eat The Kids First

| Related | October 2, 2013

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Doing Each Other’s Bidding

| RI, USA | Related | October 2, 2013

(I am spending time at my uncle’s house. My uncle is on his computer.)

Uncle: “There’s this jack-a** that keeps bidding on the same tractor I want. He’s driven up the price quite a bit.”

Me: “Oh, are there a lot of people after it?”

Uncle: “No, just one other person.”

(I’m getting bored, and decide to go downstairs to see what my other visiting uncle is doing.)

Me: “What are you up to?”

Other Uncle: “I’m placing bids on this tractor. Your uncle and I want to use parts to make a cord wood processor. Someone else wants it as bad as I do.”

Me: *holding back my laughter* “The one [Uncle] is bidding on looks pretty nice too.”

Other Uncle: *string of expletives that don’t need to be repeated*

Deaths And Marriages, Part 2

| Antwerp, Belgium | Related | October 2, 2013

(I’m riding a bus when I overhear a discussion between two siblings about four and ten years of age.)

Older Sibling: “…and then you should marry Mum.”

Younger Sibling: “No! She is married to Dad!”

Older Sibling: “Well, he has to die first of course.”

Related:
Deaths And Marriages

Intelligence Thrown Overboard

| Denmark | Related | October 2, 2013

(I am with my family on a weekend trip. We visit a historical ship that used to be a war ship back in 1864. I am walking below deck with my dad, when he remarks upon the lift installed for physically impaired tourists visiting the ship.)

Dad: “Oh look, they had an elevator! That’s smart!”

Me: *thinking that my dad is joking* “Oh yes! They must have used it to carry the cannonballs and luggage.”

Dad: “I wonder how they powered it? Maybe it was steam-powered.”

(I realize that my dad is completely serious.)

Me: “Dad, you don’t really think they put up elevators with signs that said ‘max. 6 persons’ in 1864 do you?”

Dad: “Oh! No! Please don’t tell anyone I said that!”

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