A Brain The Size Of A Jelly Bean

Customer: “Where are the jelly beans?”

Me: “Jelly beans are right this way.”

(I take her to the candy aisle and show her the selection.)

Me: “Would you like [Popular Brand], or [Store Brand]?”

Customer: “No, those aren’t jelly beans.”

(It’s hard to abide by “the customer is always right” here, because, well… something either IS a jelly bean or it ISN’T.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Well, can you describe to me what you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Jelly beans. The ones I bought before didn’t come in all those colors.”

Me: “So they were all one flavor, not mixed?”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am; we only carry the mixed ones.”

Customer: “They were bigger than those! I bought them last week!”

(I start to assume there’s some sort of confusion, and begin showing her various gummies: gummy melons, bears, fish, etc. To my amusement, several other guests have begun assisting me in my quest for “jelly beans,” as the customer grows more impatient.)

Customer: “A-ha! I found them. These are the jelly beans, young lady.”

(She has picked up a bag of chocolate candies.)

Me: “They were chocolate, foil wrapped, with the little flag?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh, sorry about that. Well, happy holidays, ma’am.”

(She later complained to the manager about my lack of product knowledge.)