Brain-Fried

(It’s a super hot day and I’m visiting my long-distance boyfriend. I’m from San Diego but this heat is ridiculous. We both decide to walk a mile to a popular burger joint for ice cream. I am the customer in this situation.)

Worker: “Hi! Welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

Me: “Yeah, can I get two ice cream cones and—”

Worker: “Sorry, we’re out of ice cream.”

Me: “Seriously? Oh okay, can I get a mocha frappe and—”

Worker: “Sorry, ma’am, those are made with ice cream, too.”

Me: “Darn, all right. Can I have an Oreo [blended drink]?”

Boyfriend: “Seriously, babe?”

Worker: “Sorry, but those are also made with ice cream.”

Me: “All right! I’ll just take a vanilla shake, then.”

(The worker looks at me wide eyed, like I’m playing a joke on her.)

Boyfriend: “She’ll have a large soda.”

Worker: “Thank you! $1.08, please.”

(We get our cup and go sit down.)

Me: “I don’t understand. Why couldn’t I have a shake?”

Boyfriend: “If you can’t understand why you couldn’t have a shake at a [Fast Food Restaurant] that’s run out of ice cream, I don’t want this relationship to go

any further in case we reproduce.”