An Obvious Romantic

(Two dorm-mates have suddenly started doing stuff like literally jumping into each others’ arms and kissing on a nearly daily basis. One evening, it’s just the three of us in the dining room. I decide to give them some privacy by sneaking in as far away as possible…)

Her: “Oh, no, [My Name]! Don’t be all alone! You can sit over here!”

Me: “A-all right…”

(We are chatting as normal for a few minutes.)

Him: “By the way…” *hands over a phone charger* “You forgot this in my room the other day, babe.”

Her: “Thanks, hun…” *turns to me* “Oh, that’s right. I gotta tell you something. [My Name], we’re actually going out now!”

Me: “…No s***?”