Unfiltered Story #284114

i’m grocery shopping and in the aisle I need to be stands a peculiar bloke, with a striking long, lush red beard and wearing a green football outfit. He stares at me for a while as I pass, and I give him a friendly nod.

Aisle viking: “Hey, hey, so good to see you again! Long time no see, heh?”

me: *blank stare* “y…yeah… ehm.. have we met?”

aisle viking: “Yeah, you know, from that party! Or.. at least could be. I’m (full name), with (last name) like the pancake brand!

me: *not having been to any party lately where I could have met him* “Doesn’t ring a bell to be honest.”

Aisle viking: “Yeah I do recognise you! It’s that cute button nose of yours! Yeah, I do recognize the nose alright!”

me: “Eh.. haha. Yeah.. I guess. There are maybe more noses like mine though. But I live around here so you might caught me in the street once or something. I’m (name), if that says something for you? But with a beard like that, I’m sure I would have remembered you if we have met.”

aisle viking: “Anyhow, look me op on Facebook. (name), like the pancakes! Not the muffins anymore, they quit making those.” He then holds out his fist, waiting for me to bump it. I awkwardly do so.

me: “Yeah.. well, I gotta get my groceries” *waves grocery list to make a point*
I politely say bye and want to continue my shopping. He follows me around however, still going on about the pancake brand that has his name in it. I shake him off at the registers by pretending I forgot something at the dairy isle at the other side of the store. When I check out, he’s still lingering at the mall entrance, shouting things about ”corona” and ”hoax” at no passerby in particular.
I made a detour to another exit, wishing I didn’t give him my name.