Unfiltered Story #237166

(I had a car crash the previous day, leaving me with severly bruised ribs, broken nose, broken coller bone, a black eye and cuts to my forehead. I tell my boss what happened, but don’t mention my injuries. The following conversation happens in the staffroom the next day)

Boss: *my name*? What thd hell happened?

(I reel off injuries)

Boss: You cant work like that! You should be at home resting!

Me: If i dont do my hours I wont get paid. I’ll be fine, you know I’m not like everyone else and need a day off just because they have a hangover

Boss: Youre crazy!

Me: True, but I’m a crazy b*****d who dont want his s**t to be shut off

Boss: Ok but I’m putting you on light duty until you’re better