Unfiltered Story #216804

(Working at a taxi company on a Friday night. We get a lot of very drunk people needing to go home and I answer calls and make the bookings.)
Me: Welcome to (company) (my name) speaking.
Customer : Hi (wrong name) do you do a dial a driver service?
Me: yes we do.
Customer: can you drive my truck?
Me: what kind of truck (thinking it would be something normal sized)
Customer: um its a pretty big truck. Its got two trailers but ive taken one off and can leave the here (was at a friends house) but need to get the rest of the truck home.
Me: can it be driven on a class 1 license?
Him: what? No you cant drive it on the grass. You gotta drive it on the road.
Me (trying not to laugh) : sorry thats not what i said. Can the truck be driven on a standard car license.
Him: oh. No u gotta have a class 5.
Me: im sorry but our drivers only have car licenses so cannot drive your truck.
Him: oh come on its 3am and i got work tomorrow.
(Its 1 am)
Me: im sorry but we do not have any drivers able to drive your truck.
Him: what if you send me someone and ill drive the truck home and if i get pulled over i use his name?
Me: no.
Him: ….
Me: i can send you a taxi to get you home but you will have to pick up the truck tomorrow.
Him: good idea lets do that.
(Made the booking and got him home safe. After i hung up i collapsed into laughter and told my co workers the whole story. We all started laughing and to this day joke about the guy with the tonka truck. He went back and got his truck the next day.