Unfiltered Story #190124

I was supervisor on shift, running the cash register at the time of this story.

There is a line of customers we are serving, and a woman comes into the restaurant and makes a beeline for the register, cutting in line between two customers.

Woman: “You there! I have some flyers you need to distribute, it’s very important.”
She waves a stack of flyers inches from my nose. I don’t move to take them.
Me: “Sorry, we are only allowed to display corporate approved papers in the store.”
Woman: “No, this is different.” (she waves the flyers even more aggressively, smacking my visor and setting it crooked. I take a large step back.)
Me: “I can’t accept any advertisements except for what has been approved by the store owner.”
Woman: “This isn’t an advertisement, this is the word of the Lord, see?” (she points out the religious nature of the text and begins to read the front page to me, which contained mostly text soliciting donations to the congregation. Meanwhile the customers in line have finished their orders and are waiting to pay at this point and she is holding up the line.)
Me: “Ma’am, my boss will not make any exceptions. If you are not buying anything I need to take the next customer.”
Woman: “Uh, yes he did, I spoke to him already.”
Me: “Oh! You spoke to Dave?”
Woman: “Yes, yesterday on the phone.”
Me: “No you didn’t, my boss isn’t named Dave. Have a nice day. Sir, what sandwich am I ringing you up for today?”
Woman: (getting angry that I brushed her aside) “It’s very obvious that you haven’t been touched by the Holy Ghost!” (she aggressively shoves the papers at me across the counter, half of which fly onto the floor, and she nearly topples over my register keyboard.)
Me: “Ma’am, I cannot and will not display unapproved paperwork in this restaurant. I can guarantee that if you leave this here my boss will just laugh at it and throw it out. Save yourself the printing money and just take them with you. If you aren’t a paying customer you need to leave.”
Woman: “I think I should be speaking to someone IN CHARGE here.”
Me: “That’s me.”
Woman: “No you’re not, I don’t believe you, you already lied to me. You lied about your boss being Dave!”
Me: “You lied about talking to “Dave”. Thou shalt not bear false witness.”
At this point the woman is bright red and seriously pissed off.
Woman: “Clearly you’ve never heard of our Lord Jesus Christ, and your soul won’t be saved. Take this, come to my church, and be saved.”
Me: “I’m a confirmed and baptized Catholic, and that’s good enough for me. That doesn’t change the fact that you need to get out of my line.”
Woman: “You need to hear the word of the Lord! Take these, it’s clear you need it.” (She slams a pile of the flyers on my counter and starts shoving flyers in the hands of customers in line, most of which immediately drop the crumpled flyer to the floor or walk up to the counter to restack it on the original pile.)
Customer: “Jesus Christ just go away already. Can I get a combo meal?”
Me: “Large, Medium or small?”
Woman: “ARE YOU TAKING THESE OR NOT??”
Me: “Ma’am, the only place those flyers are going is in the trash unless you take them with you out of this building.”
Woman: “THE WORD OF THE LORD DOES NOT BELONG IN THE TRASH.”
Me: “My mistake then. The toilets are down the hall that way. Sir, what kind of soda would you like?”
Woman: “I demand to know the name of the Church you go to! I will be speaking with your pastor about your godless attitude. You are disrespectful. The word of the Lord does not belong in the trash!”
Me: “That’s not even ‘the word of the Lord’ that’s an advertisement for fundraising.”
Woman: “I will be speaking to your pastor!!”
Me: “Father could use a good laugh.”
Woman: “What church is it? What kind of hill billy pastor thinks its acceptable for the name of Jesus to be tossed away like garbage?”
Me: “Then you should make sure it stays out of the trash. Take your flyers with you and please leave so I can do my job!”
Eventually she huffed out of the restaurant and I could finish my shift in peace– but customers later told me the flyers were crammed by the handful under their windshield wipers in the parking lot.