Your Argument Is Broken

(I’m sitting in our suite on a rainy day watching TV when Suitemate #1 storms in soaking wet.)

Suitemate #1: *pissed off* “You’re such an a**-hole, [My Name].”

Me: *sarcastically* “What did I do this time?”

Suitemate #1: “You didn’t tell me your f****** umbrella was broken and I got soaked. Just look at me.”

Me: “That’s cool, [Suitemate #1].”

Suitemate #1: *serious* “You need to throw away your broken s***, man, or at least tell me so I don’t use it. I need a shower now and you owe me for laundry on these wet clothes, you a**-hole.” *storms off*

(Suitemate #2 comes in.)

Suitemate #2: “Who gave him permission to use your umbrella?”

Me: “Not me.”

Suitemate #2: “I’m so sorry, man.”

Me: “Oh, I could not care less. Serves him right for stealing things out of my room.”

(Just for the record, I didn’t pay for Suitemate #1’s laundry. He was mad that I didn’t tell him about the umbrella but I guess the fact that I had bought a new one while he had gone shopping with me wasn’t enough of a hint for him.)