He’s Going To Need The Hospital Next

(I like to crochet tiny toys which I then take to the local hospital where my sister works and give them out to kids, who are either patients or visiting sick family members, to make them feel better. I’ve just given some to a pair of children in the ER when a woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me; I saw you were giving out toys to the children. My daughter has already been discharged, but she’d like to know if she can still have one?”

Me: “Of course she can have one!”

(She leads me to her daughter, who is with her dad and waiting for the okay to leave, and I let her choose a toy from my box. She picks a tiny octopus.)

Woman: “Now what do you say?”

Girl: “Thank you!”

Woman’s Husband: *jokingly* “You say, ‘Thanks for the octopus, b****!’”

(His wife then started smacking him with her purse, hard. I was laughing too hard to be offended.)