Young And Fertile Versus Old And Misogynistic

| Working | July 15, 2015

(I have a skin condition on my hands and feet that is quite bad, so bad that for periods I cannot walk or use my hands at all. I’m at my dermatologist asking to try another type of medicine. My husband already uses this medicine for his arthritis. I’m at this point 22, I’m a woman, and my doctor is a man in his fifties.)

Me: “So, I really want to try out [Medicine], since what we’ve tried so far hasn’t really helped.”

Doctor: “I can see that. But, on these medicines, you cannot get pregnant as long as you are on them, and you need to stop them for two years before getting pregnant, as they are harmful to a fetus.”

Me: “Yes, I know that, because my husband is already on these same medicines. We don’t want children anytime soon, so that is no problem for us.”

Doctor: “No, I don’t want to give these meds to young, fertile women. You could change your mind about wanting children in a couple of months, and I don’t want to be responsible for you damaging your child.”

Me: “But, we already know this. My husband has been on these medicines since he was 16. We don’t want children now; we don’t know if we ever want children at all!”

Doctor: “I don’t give out these medicines to fertile, young women. They can harm a fetus and you’ve got to wait to years after stopping them before you can get pregnant.”

Me: “I KNOW. But we already HAVE this limit because of my husband. AND we don’t want children now, and maybe never. And that aside, how on earth am I supposed to be able to care for a child when I cannot even walk without help due to my illness?!”

Doctor: “I don’t give out these medicines to young, fertile women, because they can harm a fetus.”

(It took me three months to talk him into actually prescribing me the medicines I desperately needed. And in the end, I switched to another doctor that’s three hours drive away, just to get someone who was actually willing to help me.)

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