When Friendship Takes A Turn

(In the car with two guy friends who are talking about our zombie apocalypse plans. I’m sitting in the back.)

Me: “What would you guys do if I was turned?”

(They look at each other with evil grins.)

Friend #1: “Oh, honey, at the speed you walk we’re using you as bait.”

(They both start laughing.)

Me: *laughing* “F*** you both. I’m gonna turn and get revenge and eat you both.”

Driver: “We love you, [My Name].”

Me: “Yeah, yeah, love you, too. I’m still gonna eat your faces.”