Mulandled It

(I’ve just bought a soda from the vending machine in the break room and can’t open it. I’m female.)

Me: *handing drink to my male friend* “Be a man.”

Friend: *stands up singing* “We must be swift as a coursing river! With all the force of a great typhoon!”

Me: *laughing* “With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!”

Friend: *opens my soda with a flourish and sits down as if nothing has happened*