What A Ridiculous Request!

I receive lots of calls from numbers I don’t know. One such number leaves an automated voicemail about student loan forgiveness. Since I went to a community college and was lucky enough to pay for my education by semester, I have no student loans. The next time the number calls, I answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Recording: “Thanks to a recent government ruling, your student loan can now be forgiven. Press one to speak to an agent; press nine to be removed from our list.”

I press nine.

Recording: “Invalid selection. Thanks to a recent government ruling—”

Annoyed, I press one. I’m answered by someone with a thick, non-American accent.

Scammer: “Hello, yes, my name is Steven from Michigan. Can I have your social security number to begin?”

Me: “No.”

There’s a pause.

Scammer: “Miss, I need your social security number to research your loans.”

Me: “No.”

There’s another pause.

Scammer: “Miss, I must look up—”

Me: “No.”

Scammer: *Annoyed* “Miss, please, I—”

Me: “No.”

Scammer: “Then why are you calling?”

Me: “You called.”

Scammer: “No, we—”

Me: “Yes, you called.”

Scammer: “No, we—”

Me: “Yes, you called.”

This cycles a few more times.

Scammer: “What do you want?”

Me: “To be removed from your scam list.”

Scammer: “B****!”