To The Breast Of His Knowledge

(I’m hanging out with a group of friends and my boyfriend when I overhear him talking to his male friends.)

Friend: “I mean, how heavy can breasts be anyways?”

Boyfriend: “Well, it depends on the girl’s diet.”

Friend: “…What?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, the fattier foods they eat the bigger their breasts are!”

(I started laughing along with everyone else in the room. My poor boyfriend was red in the face and I had to give him the talk that night about what really causes breast size. We’re both 20 years old!)