They See Me Co-rolling, They Hatin’

(A customer pulls up in an early-’80s Toyota Corolla. It’s a beautiful car to an enthusiast, so I just have to compliment it.)

Me: “I love your car!”

Customer: “Go to h***.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that sarcastically at all. I have a soft spot for classic Japanese cars, and yours is in great condition for its age. Are you the original owner?”

Customer: “Okay, it’s not funny! Just shut the f— up and let me pump.”

(Another customer pulls up a few seconds later and also compliments the car. The first customer flips him off and drives away in a hurry.)

Customer #2: “It’s sad when they don’t know what they have.”

Me: “Yeah, it definitely is.”