The Whatchamacallit Family

Farm, Outdoors/Outside | Related | April 2, 2012

(My father and his brother own an apple orchard that’s been in the family for close to 100 years. One day, I am going to run an errand, and my brother, one of our cousins, and their wives happened to be there.)

Cousin: “Are you taking the thing to place?” (Translation: Are you taking the van to the frozen storage facility?)

Me: “To get the stuff, yeah.” (Translation: To get the cider that’s been in storage, yeah.)

Brother: “Did they tell you that you have to flip the doo-dad?” (Translation: Did they (Dad and uncle) tell you that you have to flip the latch on the door to get it to catch when you close it?)

Me: “Yes, and Hidgegummy showed me how to use the whatsits to open the gizmo.” (Yes, and Dad showed me how to use the crowbar to jimmy open the rear door with the latch that is stuck closed.))

(Upon hearing all this, my cousin’s wife, her eyes huge, turns to my brother’s wife.)

Cousin’s wife: “Oh. My. God! The whole family does it!”

(Note: We know that the aphasia likely isn’t genetic since my cousin is adopted.)

This story is part of our Terrible Cousins roundup!