The Hangover: Coming Out Edition

(My brother’s 18th birthday party was last night, and he has staggered downstairs hungover. He comes into the kitchen.)

Brother: *staring at nothing* “So, did I, you know?”

Me: “Know what?”

Brother: “Umm, you know?”

Mum: “Come out? Yes, sweetie. You did.”

Brother: “And how did everyone take it?”

Mum: “Well, [Great Aunt] swore she would remove you from her will…”

Me: “Nana paid Grandad £50…”

Mum: “And I think the bar started giving out shots in rainbow shot glasses.”

Brother: “That’s it? What about you?”

Mum: “Oh, we’ve known for the past couple of years.”

Brother: “HOW? I thought I was hiding it so well!”

Mum: “Well, just a bit of advice: If you’re going to use that Grindr thing, maybe you should lock your phone. [Younger Brother] came in asking what a ‘power bottom’ was, and if he was a ‘dom’ because he liked pizza.”

Brother: “Oh, my God!” *to me* “What about you?”

Me: “Found an Attitude mag under your wardrobe while looking for my Pokémon White. Harry Judd isn’t that bad in the buff.”

(My brother blushed and stormed out. Other than our great aunt, everyone was pretty accepting. I don’t think he planned his coming out to be so nonchalant, though.)