That’s The Way The Cookie Continuously Crumbles

(I have a bad habit of buying something I’m craving, eating a little bit and then leaving the rest to go bad. Since moving back in with my parents that problem has been mostly solved by my dad, who can’t seem to walk past food without taking it, but this happens EVERY time.)

Dad: “Er, so… I kind of ate your cookies. But I’ll replace them!”

Me: “No, it’s fine! I didn’t want them any more anyway. They’re all yours.”

(Later…)

Dad: “There’s more cookies on the bench for you!”

Me: “Thanks, you can have some if you like.”

Dad: “Nope, these are definitely yours.”

(The next day…)

Dad: “Er, honey… I ate all your cookies again. But I’ll replace them!”

(Usually, he will go through five or six packets on his own before I eat enough that he feels like he’s repaid me. The best part is, he never buys junk food for himself! I wonder why.)

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