That Takes The Cake

(We are all celebrating a colleague discovering they are pregnant. We are all eating cake when a phone rings.)

Coworker: *mumbles incoherently into the receiver*

(Swallows the cake.)

Coworker: “Sorry, we’re all enjoying cake!”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “No, it doesn’t!”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “WELL, F*** YOU, [homophobic slur]!” *hangs up*

Pregnant Coworker: “Umm, what happened?”

Coworker: “F****** a**-hole saying it sounds like I’ve got a good mouth for giving blowjobs! Disgusting [slur]!”

Me: “Well, I can’t say it was an appropriate call, but maybe tone it down on that sort of language?”

Coworker: “Why, you aren’t a [slur] are you?!”

Pregnant Coworker: “No, he isn’t. I, on the other hand, am!”

(Coworker went pale and ran out of the office. For the next month he refused to be in the same room as her. Shortly after he was fired for discrimination.)