(I am just the age where my mother will let me go one store over to a strip mall to browse, probably around ten or so. My dad’s birthday is coming up, and I am looking for something to get him. The nice middle-aged lady offers to help me and asks what my father likes.)

Me: “Well, dad enjoys a nice bottle of wine.”

(The sales lady shows me a bottle of red that is in my budget, and starts to ring it up.)

Me: “I should go get my mom.”

(Her face went white as she realized she almost sold a bottle of wine to a ten-year-old.)

(At this time, I work in the service department of a retail electronics store, mainly fixing people’s computers. One customer will bring up cheap playing card computer games to us and ask if it will work on her computer. She never has any details on the specs of her computer other than it’s at least eight years old. We tell her the games will probably not work but we would need to see her computer to be sure. She never brings the computer in, though, and then the pattern repeats. One day in 2014 she actually calls the store instead of coming in.)

Caller: “Hey I was wondering if you can tell me if a game would work on my computer.”

Me: “Maybe. What kind of game are talking about?”

Caller: “Well, a friend of mine had it. It’s, like, this robot guy and you shoot things.”

Me: “Do you know the name of the game?”

Caller: “No. So, will it work?”

Me: “Not sure, ma’am. Without the name of the game I can’t tell you what the recommended or minimum specs are.”

Caller: “Okay, forget that game. What about [Basic Card Game]?”

Me: *looking up the specs* “It doesn’t require a lot of computing power. What kind of computer do you have?”

Caller: “It’s gray.”

(Yes, she said it was gray.)

Me: “I mean the brand, model, operating system, RAM, hard drive, processor? That would be the information I need.”

Caller: “Well, the box is gray. It was built for me. You guys should know. You just worked on it.”

(I ask for her name and phone number and start looking for a work order for her but come up with nothing.)

Me: “I’m not seeing anything under your information. Could it have been brought in under another person’s information?”

Caller: “No. I mean, you just had it. I just want to know if this game will work.”

Me: “If you want to bring it in we would be glad to tell you if the [Basic Card Game] would work.”

Caller: “I don’t want to bring it in. Just have someone who worked on it tell me if it will work.”

Me: “Ma’am, when did you have us work on it? Like, what month?”

Caller: “2001. Can you put on someone who worked on it?”

Me: “Ma’am, no one in this department now was here in 2001.”

Caller: “Really? So you have a lot of turnover?”

Me: “All businesses have a fair amount of turnover in 13 years.”

Caller: “Really? Huh. Well, can you tell me if the game will work?”

Me: “We will need you to bring your computer in.”

Caller: “I don’t want to do that. It’s heavy. Okay, then. I guess you can’t help. Okay, bye.”

(I’m originally from a very rich area but I’m attending college in a much poorer city. Being a college student on a budget and given that many of the stores in this town are big box retailers, I have rewards cards with most of them, which require me to enter my phone number to use. I’m shopping for some groceries when this happens.)

Cashier: “Your total today will be [total]. Do you have a rewards card with us?”

Me: “I do indeed.” *I proceed to punch it in on the keypad*

Cashier: “It looks like you saved [amount] and your total is [total].”

Me: “Great!”

Cashier: “You know I don’t like it that you rich folks have rewards cards with us. I recognize your area code; you’ve got plenty of money. You shouldn’t be trying to save a buck or two when you can afford it.”

(I was too shocked to say anything back so I just paid and got the heck out of there.)

(A regular customer almost always has a similar exchange with me during checkout. Usually it goes, “That was a good year,” or some good other natured ribbing.)

Regular: “How much you need?”

Me: *total that sounds like a long ago year*

Regular: “That wasn’t a very good year.”

Me: *without a beat, not really paying attention* “That’s because you weren’t there.”

Regular: *can’t stop laughing*

(I have just stepped forward to the clerk when the power cuts out.)

Clerk: “No power. Computer is down.”

Me: “I am in a bit of a rush; I just have a tube of glue, $0.99 can.” *I leave $1.25 to cover it and go*

Clerk: “No, I must check on the computer; you might be trying to cheat the store.”

Me: “The price is $0.99, the tax is 13%. I’m leaving $1.25?”

Clerk: “How do I know you are not cheating us?”

Lady Behind Me: “You go ahead; I’ll take care of it.”

Clerk: “If he is cheating, you must pay the difference!”