(I’ve known my best friend for about fifteen years now. He likes to pull pranks and do things to annoy me from time to time since I usually have a short fuse and overreact in amusing ways when I’m stressed out. We are walking around the mall. We haven’t been talking for the past few minutes. In front of us is an African-American woman walking and eating ice cream cones with her daughter, clearly having a nice day. My friend notices this. It’s important to note with what happens next that he and I are both Caucasian.)

Friend: *out of nowhere, he turns, looks at me, and screams* “[My Name]?! Was that a BLACK JOKE?! That’s just disgusting and racist!”

(He feigns anger and storms away, hiding inside the nearest storefront to watch what happens next. Needless to say, the lady and her daughter both turn. The lady glares at me.)

Me: *unable to piece together a sentence because I am so embarrassed* “I… it… was a joke.”

Lady: “Well, it’s not funny to make fun of other people because of the color of their skin!”

Me: “No… I mean… my friend was joking.”

(She shot me a look, turned, and walked away. I looked over. My friend was cackling behind the window. I still haven’t come up with a good way to get back at him over that.)

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(I’m a teen, and a very self conscious one at that. I don’t like anyone to look at me for more than a few seconds at all. I’m walking with my mom in the shopping mall.)

Me: *hiding self* “Mom, I hate going to the mall. They’re all looking at me with their EYES!”

Mom: “Well, what do you expect them to look from? Their butts?”

Me: “MOM!”

(I’m playing with my toddler in the play area when an older woman comes in with her grandchildren.)

Grandma: “RAWR! I’m a dinosaur and I’m going to get you!”

(Her grandchildren scream and shriek in delight as she chases them around the play yard. A random lady walks by on the other side of the play yard’s fence yapping on her cell phone.)

Lady: *yelling at the grandma* “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, acting that way in public!”

Grandma: *while still chasing the kids* “Maybe you should mind your own business and go back to yammering loudly on your cell phone.”

(With a humph, the lady walked away.)

(My sister and I are at the mall’s bathroom. The flush is activated not by pressing a button, but by stepping on a small pressure-sensitive spot on the floor. While washing my hands, I hear my sister’s voice behind me.)

Sister: “Hi-YAH!”

(You can hear her stomp on the floor. My sister steps out of the stall, meeting me as I am staring at her.)

Sister: “What? You really expected me to just step on it like a normal person?”

(It is a fairly warm day and I have just left work, around 3 pm. I head to my local ice cream store for a milkshake, and have to go down an inside escalator from the outside parking lot. I am in business casual clothes – black pants with a black tank top under a 3/4 arm length shimmery gold cardigan. As I go down the escalator, I pass a woman in her 40s or 50s wearing an oversized white t-shirt and torn jean shorts, and smile as we make eye contact.)

Woman: *loudly* “NICE SWEATER!”

Me: “Oh, thanks! I just got it.”

Woman: *under her breath* “Stupid b****.” *loudly, turning around at the top of the escalator* “IT’S HOT OUTSIDE! AND YOU’RE WEARING A SWEATER! I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!”