Looking Butt-Hurt

(I’m a teen, and a very self conscious one at that. I don’t like anyone to look at me for more than a few seconds at all. I’m walking with my mom in the shopping mall.)

Me: *hiding self* “Mom, I hate going to the mall. They’re all looking at me with their EYES!”

Mom: “Well, what do you expect them to look from? Their butts?”

Me: “MOM!”