(As I am walking through the store a customer approaches me from the electronics section holding a DVD of an old classic film.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady. I have a question about this movie?”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “Is it alive?”

Me: “I’m… I’m sorry but I don’t understand. The DVD you’re holding is an inanimate object. It is not alive.”

Customer: “No, I mean is it live, as in ‘filmed before a studio audience’?”

Me: “No, sir. I’m fairly certain all movies are filmed on closed studio sets.”

Customer: “Okay, but is it still live? Isn’t ‘live’ better, like organic?”

Me: “No, that disc you’re holding is a recording.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “If it was live then it would mean the actors were performing as you were watching it.”

Customer: “And they’re not?”

Me: “No, sir. That movie was made a long time ago. Most of those actors have died of old age by now. They filmed the movie once and moved on with their lives. But they are definitely not performing live.”

Customer: “But if they’re dead then how can I watch them now?”

Me: “Because it’s a recording.”

Customer: “Then who’s doing the movie?”

Me: “THEY did. They stood in front of a camera and made the movie. Then they took the film, and eventually made it into a DVD, and now here it is.”

Customer: “I don’t get it.”

Me: *sigh* “Okay. Do you have pictures from when you were a kid?”

Customer: “Yeah….”

Me: “You know how your parents pointed a camera at you and now you can look at them years later, even though you grew up and aren’t reenacting those pictures as your childhood self every time someone looks at them?”

Customer: *gradually dawning expression*

Me: “There you go.”

(I am with a few friends in a mall near my house. We walk into a store that is known for selling unusual novelties such as ‘adult’ toys. My friends are on student visas from Vietnam and are not familiar with many U.S. stores and ‘products.’ One of the girls stops me near one of the displays.)

Friend: “What are those things?”

(I look and realize she’s pointing at a selection of women’s vibrators.)

Me: “Ahem, well…”

(As tastefully as I can, I explain what they are and what they are used for.)

Friend: *embarrassed* “Oh! Uh… Let’s go. Let’s go…”

(We quickly walk away from the display with her a few steps behind me. I hear her say something softly to herself.)

Friend: “I have to come back here when I am alone.”

(I use a wheelchair full time due to a muscular disability. A good friend and I are out shopping one day and decide to stop for a quick coffee before moving on to the next store. While my friend uses the restroom, a woman (who neither of us have ever met) walks up to us and addresses me.)

Woman: “Excuse me! Do you know John Smith? Will you tell him Theresa said hi next time you see him?”

Me: “Um.. no, I’m sorry, I don’t know a John Smith..”

Woman: *chuckles* “Oh, sure you do! He’s been my friend for years! He uses a wheelchair, too. I’m sure you know him.”

Me: “I really don’t. I’m sorry.”

Woman: *getting irritated* “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t lie to me, missy. JOHN SMITH. He even has the same kind of wheelchair as you do. You HAVE to know him!”

(Despite my protestations, she continues to insist I know her friend simply because we’re both disabled. During this, my friend returns from the rest room.)

Me: *finally getting fed up* “All right, fine. I’ll tell John you said hi, if you remember to tell Martha I asked about her father.”

Woman: “Martha? I don’t know any Martha.”

Me: “Oh, but you must! She has dark brown hair JUST like yours. It even curls and everything!”

Woman: “Why the h*** do you think I would know someone just because we have the same hair?!”

Me: “Why would you think I would know someone because we’re both in wheelchairs?!”

Woman: *turns red and walks away*

This story is included in our Wheelchairs Versus Ableism roundup!

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(My eight-year-old daughter and I are approached by the local radio station reps to see if we want to take part in a competition where the first couple to get 3 questions right wins a voucher for one of the shops in the shopping centre. We’re in no hurry and are pitted against a young couple (early twenties) who are tourists to the city. Not surprisingly, we lose and carry on shopping for some new clothes for my daughter. We are waiting in line to pay for a dress when we notice in the queue behind us the couple that won.)

Me: “Congratulations! What did you win?”

Gentleman: “Thanks! We won a £20 voucher for this store.”

Lady: “We saw they had an offer on [Comedy Show] DVDs so we decided to buy them as a treat.”

Daughter: “I love that show! [Main Character] is very funny!”

Gentleman: “What are you buying today?”

Daughter: “My mom promised I could have a new dress if I was really good this week as I’ve grown out of my old party dress.”

(The couple look at each other and smile.)

Gentleman: “You know what? If you’ve been such a good girl I think you should have this voucher to buy a pretty dress.” *hands her the voucher*

Daughter: “Thank you so much!”

Me: “Oh, my goodness, you don’t have to do that.”

Lady: “We insist. We were only buying these DVDs for the sake of it and I think making your daughter happy after being so polite would be the right thing to do.”

(They promptly drop the DVDs back on the shelf and leave the store, leaving me standing there stunned. Thank you, young couple! My daughter kept the pouch the voucher came in for her scrapbook to remind her how awesome people can be.)

(My dad and I are shopping at a crowded mall on a Friday. My dad sees the Victoria’s Secret ad. It is a giant billboard of a girl in a black bra.)

Dad: “Hey!”

(He walks up to the ad, sticks head between the breasts and yells…)

Dad: “I’M MICKEY MOUSE! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! MICKEY MOUSE!”

(I was completely mortified.)