(I am used to testing my little two-year-old sister’s knowledge of colors. Even though she knows them, I still ask. She loves birds.)

Sister: “Look! A birdy!”

Me: “Really? Where?”

Sister: “Right there! Look! It’s so cute!”

Me: “What color is it?”

Sister: *suddenly sad* “I don’t know…”

(My husband lets out a fart that starts off quiet, but quickly gets louder and lasts an impressive few seconds. After he is done, we look at each other. I’m amused, he’s embarrassed.)

Me: “It’s a FARTIS! It’s bigger on the outside!”

(My husband and I are making out in bed. In a playful mood, we start wrestling a bit. I’m a huge geek, while he’s very scholarly. While not an anti-geek, he usually fades out when I start going on a geek rant. During wrestling, he ends up on the bottom, and I sit on his legs.)

Me: “It’s over, Anakin! I’ve got the high ground!”

Husband: “I’d say you need to get out of the house more, but then you’d say those kinds of things in public.”

Me: “That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

Husband: “Search your feelings; you know it to be true.”

Me: “Oh, my God… I love you!”

(We have just gotten back from the supermarket. Among the purchases is a chicken, bought on the hot counter at the deli. My mother has unwrapped the chicken and put it on a plate.)

Mum: “Do you want some of this chicken?”

(She begins to slice it, as I’m unpacking the rest of the bags.)

Mum: “You know, this chicken isn’t very good. Look, there’s hardly any meat on it.”

(I look across, and see immediately what the problem is.)

Me: “Mum, you’ve got it upside down.”

(It’s Saturday night, and my boyfriend and I are listing potential movies to watch for a night in.)

Boyfriend: “What about the one with that guy?”

Me: “When Harry Met Sally.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah!”

Me: “Oh! Or what about that one from that day?”

Boyfriend: “Safety Not Guaranteed.”

Me: “Yeah! You know, we could reduce the size of our vocabularies and still be fine.”