(My husband and I are making out in bed. In a playful mood, we start wrestling a bit. I’m a huge geek, while he’s very scholarly. While not an anti-geek, he usually fades out when I start going on a geek rant. During wrestling, he ends up on the bottom, and I sit on his legs.)

Me: “It’s over, Anakin! I’ve got the high ground!”

Husband: “I’d say you need to get out of the house more, but then you’d say those kinds of things in public.”

Me: “That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

Husband: “Search your feelings; you know it to be true.”

Me: “Oh, my God… I love you!”

(My dad has just come home from a popular home supply store. He has some sort of combination crowbar-sledgehammer.)

My Mom: “What is that?”

My Dad: “I don’t know, but it makes me feel manly!”

Aunt: “When I was in hospital, I had an out of body experience.”

Uncle: “So why on earth did you choose to go back into that one?!”

(We’re sitting around the dinner table as a family. My younger teenage brother is teasing my parents.)

Brother: “Well, my parents are blind.”

Dad: “No, we’re not.

Brother: “No, you’re blind to my emotions!”

Dad: “I’m not blind to them; I just don’t care.”

(I am playing a game on my cell phone.)

Me: “Daddy, have you seen my phone?”

Dad: “You mean that thing you’re playing with right now?”

Me: “Wow, I’m losing my mind!”

Dad: “If you had a mind, you’d take it out and play with it.”