Math Skills Are In The Lower 25 Per Cent

, | Right | August 22, 2013

(While working at an ice cream store, there is a sale for buy one ice cream, get one for 25 cents. We are jam packed, and I am manning one of the registers.)

Me: “Thank you for coming to [store], what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like five large ice creams, please.”

Me: “Sounds great; your total comes to $14.”

Customer: “I thought there was a sale for 25 cents?”

Me: “Yes, it’s buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

Customer: “So then why am I paying so much?”

Me: “A regular large is $4.50, so three of those adds up to $13.50, plus two for 25 cents.”

Customer: “The fifth one is supposed to be 25 cents.”

Me: “You have to buy one first for it to be 25 cents. Would you like to buy one more blizzard?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want six ice creams; the last one needs to be 25 cents!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you the fifth one for 25 cents; you need to buy another ice cream first.”


Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Its buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

Customer: “I refuse to speak with you; get me your manager now!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re very busy and—”


Me: “Ma’am, please we are very busy—”

Customer: “I refuse to speak with such an idiot.”

Me: “Let me get her for you…”

(I pull my manager away from making 15 ice creams. She is very much annoyed that I have to get her.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “This imbecile of an employee will not give me my 25 cent ice cream.”

(The manager looks at my screen, and sees five ice creams.)

Manager: “You ordered five ice creams, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and I want my 25 cent ice cream!”

Manager: “It’s a buy one, get one for 25 cents. You have five ice creams. Simple math tells us that the fifth is at regular price. So either pay for your f***** ice cream, or the get the h*** out of my store.”

Customer: “Well EXCUSE ME! I’ll take my ice creams, but I’m never coming back!”

Manager: “Good, you weren’t going to be allowed back anyway!”

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Studiously Avoiding Responsibility

, , , , | Working | August 22, 2013

(I am in high school. During lunch, seniors are allowed to go out to eat. Due to not having a class scheduled afterwards, my girlfriend and I can actually take our time to get a proper meal. We go to a fast-food place that is fairly close to the school.)

Me: “Hello. I’d like three chicken sandwiches, a large fries and two small sodas.”

Cashier: “All right, sir, that will be [price].”

(We pay and move to the back of the restaurant to wait for our order. Since the restaurant is fairly crowded, we decide to simply pull out a pair of books and read for a bit. After a while I decide to see how our orders are going.)

Me: “Sorry to bother you, but we’ve been waiting fifteen minutes for our order; are you guys backed up or is there something wrong?”

Cashier: “Don’t you rush us, kid. Can’t you see we have a lot of orders to handle?! You’ll get your food when it’s ready and don’t you bother me again.”

(Not wanting a fight, I simply go back to reading. After another 10 minutes have passed, the restaurant has cleared out of the other students, and my girlfriend and I look up to see the assistant manager.)

Assistant Manager: “Look, kids, we can’t have you loitering around. Now, the [High School] lunch period is almost over, so why don’t you get back to class before you’re truant?”

Girlfriend: “Whoa, were not leaving without our food. How long does it take to make three sandwiches and a side of fries?!””

(My girlfriend hands the assistant manager our receipt.)

Assistant Manager: “Excuse me, miss.”

(The assistant manager goes into the back room and we hear some mumbling, followed by a yell.)

Assistant Manager: “30 minutes ago?! Why hasn’t this order been filled out yet?!”

(After several minutes scrambling, we finally get our order from a rather embarrassed assistant manager.)

Assistant Manager: “I am so sorry for the delay. Apparently one of our cashiers didn’t see you in the restaurant anymore, and figured you had already left and simply cancelled your order in the queue. If you don’t have time to eat, I can easily refund your money and offer you a gift card for $10.00 on any future orders.”

Me: “We actually do have time to eat due to our schedules.”

Assistant Manager: “Well that’s a relief. But I’ll still give you the card. Sadly, one of my employees resents the heavy student lunch rush, and frequently ‘forgets’ orders so he doesn’t have to deal with them.”

(I found out a few week later that the employee in question was transferred to the graveyard shift so he wouldn’t have to deal with ‘annoying students’ anymore. Now he’s stuck dealing with stoners and hangovers.)

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Don’t Have Beef With Hinduism

, | Right | August 19, 2013

(I’m on a trip to India, and decide to eat at a local McDonald’s. In front of me is a pair of American tourists.)

Tourist #1: *in very bad Hindi* “Yes, I want a Big Mac.”

Cashier: “Sir, I understand English, if you would be more comfortable. So you want a Chicken Maharaja Mac?”

Tourist #2: “I thought you said you knew English? A Big Mac doesn’t have chicken, dumb-a**!”

(Hoping to speed this along, I decide to get involved.)

Me: “None of the McDonald’s in India offer beef. The local version of the Big Mac is made using grilled chicken patties instead. It’s actually pretty good.”

Tourist #1: “Man, who the h*** doesn’t eat beef?”

Me: “About one billion Hindus, most of them in India.”

(They both quietly place their orders, all the time mumbling about ‘pandering to locals.’)

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Sugar Daddies For Desert

, | Working | August 18, 2013

(My mom has taken my son and I out for a quick lunch. We get to our seat, and we notice that they forgot to include his toy in his meal. I go up to the counter to get one.)

Me: “Sorry, but there was no toy in my son’s meal.”

Cashier: “Sorry about that.” *yelling* “I’d like a boy toy, please!”

Employee In Drive Thru: “You and me both!”

Cashier: *goes red* “Here’s your, uh… boy toy, ma’am.”

Me: *laughing* “Thank you!”

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Tivo Side Effects

, | Right | August 16, 2013

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]; can I take your order please?”

(The customer asks for an item from the promotion that finished last week.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; that promotion has finished.”

Customer: “I want a [finished promotion item], like on the TV.”

Me: “We do not have that item anymore I’m afraid.”

(The customer once again demands the item, saying it slowly and separates the words like I don’t understand what he has asked for. Again, I tell him that the item is no longer on the menu, and he proceeds to ask me for it another three times.)

Me: “Sir, the burger you’re requesting is no longer available. We now have [new promotional item] instead. Would you like one of those?”

Customer: “No! Listen to me woman: I want a [ended promotion item]! If you can’t do your job, get someone who can on the line! Stupid f****** b****!”

(My manager has walked in to see what the hold up is. He is also wearing a headset, and has heard everything. He waves his hand at me to turn my microphone off, and he takes over.)

Manager: “Sir, the item you are requesting is no longer available; instead, we have [new promo item].”

Customer: “Why is this so hard to f*****g understand!? I want a [ended promo item]! I want it as a large meal with a chocolate milkshake!”

Manager: “That item is no longer available.”

Customer: “Then why are you still f****** advertising it on the TV!?”

Manager: “We’re not, sir.”

(The customer huffs loudly after shouting several curse words at my manager, speeding past the drive thru window with his middle finger up. I’m shaking from stress, and on the verge of tears. I don’t deal with immense pressure very well, so my manager lets me go on a break. I return to the window after my break. After a few cars, the same customer from before drives up again. Reluctant to deal with him, I call over my manager, who takes the microphone.)

Manager: “Welcome to [store name].”

(The customer looks very shaken on the camera.)

Customer: “Ey er… is that girl I was talking to still there?”

Manager: “Yes she is here next to me; why do you ask?”

Customer: “Can you put her on the microphone, please?”

(My manager looks at me, and I nod a little, activating my microphone.)

Me: “Yes, what would you like, sir?”

Customer: “Listen, I’m so sorry about earlier. It turns out I was watching a pre-recorded TV show. Can I have [order], and add a large meal on top for yourself and your boss; I’ll pay for it!”

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