(A customer walks in, cutting in front of a 35-person-long line.)

Customer: “I’ll take three soft tacos to go.”

Me: “Would you like any rice or beans on that?”

Customer: “Steak.”

Me: “Okay…. Rice or beans?”

Customer: “Steak and green salsa…”

Me: “Sir, do you want rice or beans on the tacos?”

Customer: “This is the third time I’ve told you. Steak and green salsa.”

(Another employee puts the steak and green salsa on while I help the next customer.)

Customer: *shoves the current customer out of the way* “Hey, you, where the hell are my rice and beans?”

Me: “Sir, I asked you three times if you wanted any and you ignored me and repeated ‘steak and green salsa’ each time. If you want to change your order then you can go to the back of the line that you cut in front of the first time and ask politely.”

(I’m the embarrassed employee in this incident. I am taking orders on the counter and feeling kind of tired when a good looking guy comes up to order.)

Guy: “Can I get a [combo meal]?”

Me: “Would you like a medium or large condom, COMBO, oh, my god, I’m sorry.”

(I was so bright red and I just thank goodness he didn’t laugh at me.)

(It’s 11 pm, and we have just got out of an amusement park. Before taking the train back we decide to have a good old junk-food dinner at a well-known fast food place. On the doors outside, there’s a sign taped which reads “sorry, no soda left.”)

My Friend: *I’d like Meal #2, and to drink I’d like a co—”

Me: *interrupting* “No, they have no soda. Remember the sign?”

Cashier: *looks up at me with amazement* “You’re the FIRST patron tonight to actually notice the sign.”

(My friend was embarrassed and I really felt sorry for the cashier, and wished her a good end of shift!)

(I work at a popular fast food restaurant, and due to a lot of people coming in all the time, we need to hire more workers, which we are advertising all over the restaurant. I am approached by a little girl.)

Girl: “Can I please have an application?”

Me: *I see how young she appears to be* “Umm, is it for you?”

Girl: “Yes.”

Me: “Can I ask how old you are?”

Girl: “I’m ten.”

Me: “Sorry, you have to be at least 16 to work here.”

Girl: *starts screaming* “BUT I NEED MONEY AND I NEED A JOB, SO GIVE ME ONE!”

(At this point, the girl’s mother sees what her child is doing and walks over.)

Mother: “I’m very sorry about that.” *to girl* “Come on; we’re leaving!”

(My boyfriend and I have just ordered takeaway for his birthday. We order Indian through a website with tons of different takeaway places on it. My boyfriend is allergic to nuts and eggs so we were pleased to see allergy info on the site so we wouldn’t have to call up the place specifically. Our food is delivered and we sit down to eat.)

Boyfriend: “My throat feels funny. Like I’m getting an allergic reaction.”

Me: “Could it be the curry?”

(We call the place up.)

Me: “Are there nuts in the curry?”

Worker: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh. On the website it said there wasn’t.”

Worker: “Um. Well, there are.”

(By this point boyfriend had gotten out his Epipen, so I just hung up on the takeaway place to call 999. And that’s how we ended up at A&E on my boyfriend’s birthday. The kicker? We checked back later and realised that the menu had just said everything with the word “nut” in had nuts in. Coconut – nut allergy. Almonds – no nut allergy.)