(It is the first day in a freshman physics class. Our instructor is Japanese, with a fairly thick accent. Note that the school is in the middle of Texas.)

Instructor: “Welcome, class. My name is [Name].”

(He writes it on the board.)

Instructor: “Or, more simply.”

(He writes his name in Japanese.)

(I’m walking around campus during alumni weekend, where some of my college’s older graduates (class of 1950) are revisiting. They are having a hard time adjusting to the changes.)

Older Woman: “Is this still [Dormitory Name]?”

Me: “Yes. Turns out it has never been changed!”

Older Man: “We used to try and sneak over here at night, but that was when it was just women’s housing.”

Older Woman: “Is it men’s or women’s housing now?”

Me: “It’s co-ed, as in both genders. It’s actually an all-freshmen dormitory now.”

Older Woman: “Men and women? So… like married housing?”

Me: “No.”

Older Man: “Well, what’s to prevent the men and women from going into each other’s dorms?”

Me: “Their mommy and daddy’s good teachings, I suppose. We trust our students here to make their own decisions.”

Older Man: “I can’t imagine how many pregnant women you all have here. D*** heathens!”

(I am attending my freshman year of college. On my first break, I’m getting ready to come home and am on the phone with my mother.)

Mom: “Oh, it’ll be so good to have you home! I’ve missed you!”

Me: “Yeah! I’ve missed you, too. Time to pack, I guess.”

Mom: “Oh, do you have any laundry? Bring your laundry home! I want to do something nice for you! Save you some quarters!”

Me: “Wow, really? Thanks! That would be awesome!”

(I take a hamper home with me. My mom does my laundry for old times’ sake. The next day at church, however, I overhear her conversation with the church ladies.)

Mom: “…and you know college students: here she comes, SWANNING in with a bag full of laundry! So typical!”

(All the church ladies sigh and chuckle. Needless to say, I called her out on that one!)

(I have been hanging out with a guy friend more frequently for a couple of weeks now. On this particular day we were both in my dorm room studying.)

Friend: *gazing at my arm hair* “How come you have so much arm hair?”

Me: “I don’t know. It just happened this way?”

Friend: *glancing at his own arms and sighing* “Well, give me some. My arm’s like a barren, radioactive wasteland.”

Me: “I’m going to quote you on that.”

(My friend ended up asking me out a week later. After two months, it’s safe to say that his sense of humor still sends me into fits of giggles.)

(‘Pokémon X/Y’ has been all the rage at my school. Both my boyfriend and I are no exception to the hype. He’s been teaching me how to breed Pokémon in the game and I’m working on breeding the perfect Pokémon for a new team. My boyfriend, a mutual friend, and I are relaxing in the college dormitories.)

Boyfriend: “So you can combine all of these stats. Depending on which ones are better you can evolve [Pokémon #1] into [Pokémon #2] and have superior stats. For example, you can evolve [Pokémon #1] into [Pokémon #3] and use it as your wall—”

Me: “I’m not going to do that.”

Boyfriend: “Why not?”

Me: “I don’t want to just defend my team. I want my team to be so OP’d that the opposing team is DEAD before they have a chance to land a hit.”

Boyfriend: “That… also sounds like a good plan.”

Me: “I MUST DESTROY MY ENEMIES, [Boyfriend]!”

Boyfriend: “THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!”

Mutual Friend: “Your relationship is nauseatingly adorable.”