(It’s Friday night and I have had a bad week. My cat died, I worked a double shift the night before, and I was working until nine this night. I really wanted to see my boyfriend but living an hour away and having to work again on Saturday, I understood that I wouldn’t. At one point my boyfriend had thought about coming over, but decided against it since he hadn’t brought a change of clothes or anything to entertain him while I was at work. He says his mom has invited him over, which kind of upsets me as I’m already not in a good mood. The two of us are also ‘Friends’ fans and he sends me a text as I’m leaving work.)

Boyfriend: “Don’t get on the bus! The phalanges are broken!”

Me: “Huh? What phalanges?”

Boyfriend: “The phalanges! On the bus!”

Me: “Uh huh… right.”

Boyfriend: “Seriously! Don’t get on the bus! Think of the children!”

Me: “What children?”

Boyfriend: “The children on the bus! The phalanges!”

Me: “Right, sure.”

Boyfriend: “Do you really want to risk it?”

(I stop walking to reply to the last message and as I do, I see a car I recognize to be his speeding through the parking lot. He barrels past me, doing a double take as he passes, realizing I’m standing there, he slams on the brakes. On the verge of tears I run over to the car.)

Me: “You’re here.”

Boyfriend: “D*** it! I was trying to be all cute and romantic and I didn’t expect you to leave work so early!”

Me: “I got out on time!”

Boyfriend: “I know! But still! It’s not cute and romantic anymore!”

(I lean in and give him a kiss.)

Me: “It’s totally cute and romantic. And just what I needed.”

(My husband and I are driving home from the aquarium, and we are discussing animals. We somehow get on the topic of hamsters being mammals.)

Husband: “I keep forgetting that hamsters are mammals.”

Me: “… You do know that ALL rodents are mammals, right?”

Husband: *surprised* “Really?”

Me: “What did you think they were?”

Husband: “I don’t know, I thought they were their own thing. I never took biology. Don’t judge me!”

(From then on, it turned into a running joke in which, whenever he would make a comment about rodents, he would add “which are not mammals”, then I would tell him that they ARE, and he would act surprised.)

This story is part of our Hamsters Roundup!

Read the next Hamster Roundup story!

Read the Hamsters Roundup!

(A taxi with what looks like a yellow hat on its roof is in front of us.)

Mum: “Why has that car got a hat on?”

Me: “Because it’s coming out to play!”

(My two-year-old son is in the ‘why?’ stage of life. We are riding in the car.)

Son: “What is the straw made of, Mommy?”

Me: “Plastic.”

Son: “Why, Mommy?”

Me: “Because it’s cheap, I suppose.”

Son: “Is it cheaper than you, Mommy?”

Me: “…”

(I’m driving back from school with my five-year-old daughter in the car, and listening to hard rock on the radio. My daughter has just attended religion class.)

Daughter: *playing air guitar and headbanging in her seat* “Yeah! Mom, this music ROCKS! THANK YOU, God! For inventing rock!”

Me: *jokingly* “You know, they say it was actually the devil who invented rock music.”

Daughter: “Oh. Wow. THANK YOU, Devil! Even though you’re evil, for inventing rock!”