(I work in a fast paced retail environment. It is worth noting this happens on a busy Saturday, I have a line of 6 people, and am the only person at the register until my back up returns from a break. Luckily I am fast and the line is moving very quickly. An older gentleman has an unbuttoned $15 shirt that he has rolled into a ball and comes up to pay.)

Me: “All righty, you’re grand total is $14.99 today.” *quickly folds shirt*

Customer: *pays* “Can you refold that? I don’t want it to get wrinkled.”

Me: “Okay.” *I refold the shirt slightly nicer, and in a way it will not get wrinkled, but still quickly as I see my line getting longer again*

Customer: “No, you are doing it wrong. You need to button it first!”

Me: “Sir, if I didn’t have a line I would happily button the shirt, but I do not have time to button every shirt brought up to the register without making the lines very long. If you want to refold it yourself you can do so over here.” *I gesture towards the space at the empty next register*

(The customer proceeds to slowly button the shirt and take up the space for both registers so no one can proceed.)

Me: “I can’t help the next guest. Sir, please move over.”

(He ignores me so I gently slide his shirt over so that I can help my next customer who is awkwardly standing behind him trying to get to the register.)

Customer: “Wow. Can I talk to a manager? This is ridiculous you will not fold my shirt the right way. That is what you get paid to do!”

Me: “Sir, I folded the shirt fine. My main priority right now is to make sure I don’t have anyone waiting too long. I can definitely get you a manager but they will tell you the same thing.”

(I call for a manager and my manager comes down and talks to the customer.)

Customer #2: *loudly and sarcastically* “I know it is a busy Saturday but can you spend five minutes buttoning my pile of shirts because my convenience is more important than everyone’s time!”

(Customer #2 winks at me and my manager promptly bursts out laughing while the first customer storms out.)

(I work in a popular fast food restaurant in the city centre. I am working a morning shift and a customer comes up to my till just after nine am and orders two breakfast meals. I ask her how she would like to pay and she informs me she will be paying by card.)

Me: “Not a problem. Please just insert your card into that machine there.”

(I indicate the correct machine and turn around to begin assembling the order, but am distracted by her shout.)

Customer: “Excuse me! This machine isn’t working!”

Me: “I’m ever so sorry. Please just try again. Sometimes our system is a little temperamental. It should work this time.”

(After several more attempts the card has not worked and the food is ready so I ask to see the card; although she is speaking with a local accent some foreign cards don’t work with our system and I think it best to check. On observing, I see that she has been trying to use a student ID card.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, but you’ve been trying to use a student card. You need to use a debit or credit card, or pay by cash if you’d prefer.”

Customer: “But you can use these!”

Me: “I’m afraid you can’t, madam; there is no way of paying with a student card.”

Customer: “But I want my meal for free!”

(My company runs a promotion where if you buy a meal and present student ID you are entitled to a free cheeseburger or ice cream, but this is only available after 10:30 am when main menu is being served, and does not entitle you to your whole meal for free, which I endeavour to explain to the now irate customer.)

Customer: “So you mean I can’t have my meals for free?”

Me: “No. Like I said, that promotion doesn’t run during breakfast, and even if it did you don’t get your whole meal free. You have to buy it and you get a free cheeseburger or ice cream after.”

Customer: “Well, they’ve been lying to us then! F***this!”

(The customer then left the store, leaving the food on the counter which had to be recorded as waste. I never found out who ‘they’ were.)

Customer: “I need to renew my platinum rewards membership.”

Me: “Great! That’ll be an extra $25, and it will take 10% off of your purchase today and give you 10% back on every purchase in the future.”

Customer: “Okay. Wait, then let me pay for the rewards membership first, and THEN ring everything else up in a separate transaction. I know how tricky you guys are. I know what I’m doing.”

(I figure that he wants to build up his points rather than get the 10% off right away, and he’s so adamant about doing it this way that I just shrug and do as he says. Ten minutes after this transaction, he comes shoving his way to the front of the line, looking very upset.)

Customer: “You didn’t give me the 10% off!”

Me: “As I explained, the 10% off is automatically applied when you renew a platinum rewards membership in the same transaction. You insisted on doing them separately. Now, you’re still going to get the 10% in rewards points to spend later, so in the end you’re saving just as much.”

Customer: *sputters* “But… but… you tricked me!”

Me: “You kind of tricked yourself…”

(At our store, rewards cards don’t lower the price of purchases, but they do earn gas discounts and can get you coupons. Many customers have them, some don’t. I’m ringing up a gentleman with one woman waiting behind him.)

Me: “Okay, that’s everything! Do you have a rewards card today?”

Customer #1: *suddenly starts glaring at me* “WHAT? I didn’t know I needed a d*** SPECIAL CARD to shop here!”

(Before I can say anything, he storms out, leaving his purchases behind, and drives off. The other customer and I just stare in disbelief for a few seconds before I cancel out the transaction.)

Customer #2: “Did that really just happen?”

Me: “You know, I kinda hope he has someone waiting for these groceries at home, so he has to tell them why he doesn’t have them.”

(I am a new Uber driver, working my first Saturday with a full student population of 44,000 back from Christmas break with two home games. It’s been a hectic but pleasant afternoon when I pick up a woman catching the Megabus to Washington, DC, about a six to eight-hour ride. I have to drive through post-game traffic (which takes about 20 minutes), and during the ride she asked me to stop at a local restaurant to buy a snack for the trip.)

Me: “I’ve never been to [Restaurant], but have heard great things about it.”

Passenger: “Oh, it’s got really good crostini, paninis, and tramezzini. They have this amazing crostini with goat cheese, honey, and pepper.”

Me: “Sounds like a tasty combo. What’s a crostini?”

Passenger: “A small piece of toast with good stuff on top.”

Me: “Well, we’re about five minutes away. Maybe you should make a pickup call so you can make your bus.”

Passenger: “I’ll have to make it quick.”

(She calls the restaurant and is put on hold for several minutes, then orders what seems like a lot of food; by this time we are almost there.)

Passenger: “This could take a while. If you need to go park around the corner, I can find you.”

Me: “I think I can wait right here. Don’t want let your food get cold.”

(She is gone about 10 minutes. When she gets in, she hands me a small container.)

Passenger: “You’ve been very patient with me and the traffic so I got you a snack as well.”

Me: “Wow. I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Thanks a lot!”

(I dropped her off in plenty of time for the bus, and helped with the bags. Thank you, Megabus lady, you really made my 12-hour day!)