Putting Them Straight On Day One

(We hired two new guys a few months ago, and they’re not exactly the brightest crayons in the box. One day, closing with one if them, the topic of gay marriage comes up; I am a lesbian.)

New Guy: “Well, I was always told that it was a sin to be gay, and that it goes against God’s will. Plus, I just think it’s so gross when two dudes make out.”

Me: “How do you know what God’s will is, and how do you know that he hasn’t change his mind over the years?”

New Guy: “Well, in the Bible it says-”

Me: “I know what the Bible says. I was raised in a Catholic family. I’ve read it. But, did you ever consider that God said being gay was a sin thousands of years ago, because he wanted people to reproduce since there weren’t that many of us around? Now there are so many people out there that the birth rate is higher than the death rate. Since this is happening maybe God is making more gay people to help control the overpopulating.”

New Guy: “I never thought of it like that. It’s a good point. But, I still think gay sex is gross.”

Me: “I think straight sex is gross, so we’re even.”

New Guy: “How can you think it’s gross? It’s awesome.”

Me: “Do you want to see a naked man?”

New Guy: “Ew, no!”

Me: “Me, either.”

(He doesn’t talk to me about sins or the Bible anymore.)