Potentially Lovesick

(My long-distance boyfriend and I are chatting. I’ve been sick with a cold all day, and my boyfriend was just talking about how he ate too much beef stew from a recipe I sent him.)

Me: “You are so cute and adorable and I just wanna cuddle you, but you’re not here, and if you were I’d make you sick. It’s not fair.”

Boyfriend: “The feeling is mutual, and my stomach is so full I fear that if I squeeze you too tightly I’ll accidentally barf it back up.”

Me: “…”

Boyfriend: “That somehow was romantic in my mind before I read it.”