Physically Impossible Shoes

(I am a physics major, and like many other students in the department I normally just show up to class in running shoes, jeans, a t-shirt, and messy hair. During the yearly awards banquet I go all out with a nice dress, styled hair, makeup, and high heels. One of my female professors approaches me slightly drunk.)

Professor: “[My Name], how have you not died in those shoes? I would have killed myself by now! But you look absolutely lovely!”