Only Collecting Burnt Bridges

(My coworker has a bill collection agency that illegally calls her at work every day trying to speak with her after being told repeatedly to stop. They call for her after she has left for the day and I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Collector: “I need to speak with [Coworker], please. Does she work today?”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you, ma’am. If you call tomorrow between the hours of seven and three, the manager will be able to give you more information.”

Collector: “Thank you.”

(She hangs up. Before I can leave the phone, it rings again and the same number comes up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Collector: “I need to speak to [Coworker] and your manager. The last b*** I spoke to on the phone was very rude to me.”

Me: “Uhm… Well, lady, since this is the same ‘b****’ you just got off the phone with, no. No, I don’t believe I’ll be getting anyone important to talk to you.”

(I hang up. The phone rings again seconds later, again from the same number.)

Me: “[Store].”

Collector: “I need to speak to your manager.”

(I hang up again. The phone rings a FOURTH TIME. I yell at another coworker.)

Me: “[Coworker]! Answer it with the whorehouse!”

Coworker: *excited* “Really?!” *he answers the phone* “[City] whorehouse. You got the dough, we got the ho!”

(They haven’t called back since.)