(My boyfriend at the time and I are cuddling on my bed. We both aren’t cheesy romantic, so our relationship up until this point has been pretty relaxed.)

Me: “Hey, [Boyfriend]. You know what I just realized?”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “It’s our two month anniversary today.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, you’re right. Actually…”

(He reaches down into his pocket.)

Boyfriend: “I got you a card.”

Me: *panicking* “NO! No! No, you didn’t!”

(He takes his empty hand out of his pocket.)

Boyfriend: *smiling* “Haha! I didn’t. But I’m glad you reacted that way.”

(My friends and I have gone to a movie. My best friend sits next to one of my male friends, who also happens to be her crush.)

Friend: “Wow. This movie is pretty scary, huh?”

Friend’s Crush: “Yeah. I think I almost exploded at that last part.”

Friend: “Almost makes you wanna… hold someone’s hand?”

Friend’s Crush: “Actually, yeah! Great idea, [Friend]!”

(The crush then proceeded to hold the hand of the male friend sitting on the other side of him.)

(My wife is pregnant, and has been suffering from particularly bad morning sickness. One morning I go to kiss her, but she runs to the bathroom at the last second. A moment later, I hear her throw up.)

Me: “It’s like high school all over again.”

(My boyfriend, my 25-year-old sister, and I are at the movies. We are let in early and there’s no one else there yet. My boyfriend kisses me. We eventually part our lips.)

Sister: “17.”

Me: “What?”

Sister: “17. That’s how many seconds you two were kissing.”

Me: “Are you going to count every time we kiss?”

Sister: “No. I can’t count that high.”

(A couple of years ago my husband died, leaving me to raise our two sons by myself. Like most women I know I have some pretty ‘underthings.’ Since I don’t date I have them just for me. My older son, aged 13, sees one of my pretty bras sitting on my bed.)

Son: “Why do you have a bra like that?”

Me: “Because I want to. A lot of women have pretty underthings to make themselves feel good.”

Son: “I don’t know why you have that. It’s not like anyone is ever going to see it!”

Me: “Thank you for consigning me to the life of a nun.”