Making A Grope Pie

(I am baking a grape pie with my husband. The grapes have been unusually sour this batch.)

Husband: “I wonder why that is?”

Me: “It’s because they’re not very ripe, yet. See?” *squeezes one* “It’s young.” *creeper voice* “It’s perky and supple… like a breast.”

Husband: *immediately grabs my boob*

Me: *laughs* “Just had to have a boob after that description?”

Husband: “Yes.” *gruff voice* “I AM MAN. MUST HAVE BOOB.”

(Making this pie only became more of a production from there.)