Makes You Want To Put The Pedal To The Heavy Metal

(For an unknown reason, my dad and stepmom have felt the need to drive across the country with a 19 year old who does not want to go—me. I am in the back with my siblings: a 17 year old, and a 13 year old. Being cranky, I pick obnoxious music for my turn.)

Stepmom: “WHAT is this?”

Dad: “It’s fine.”

Stepmom: “You can’t tell me you LIKE this?!”

17 Year Old: “He hates it. But, it’s an honest name, so he doesn’t argue.”

Stepmom: “WHAT?”

Me: “Yup.”

17 Year Old: “It’s Cradle of Filth. They admit they are filth, therefore dad doesn’t argue.”

Stepmom: “Could we please try something else?”

Dad: “You don’t want to ask that.”

13 Year Old: “She’s got Type O Negative, Slipknot, Children of Bodom, Lordi and Rammstein with her.”

Stepmom: “I guess Slipknot isn’t the worst.”

Me: “Okay.”

Dad: “Oh Lord. You only have Iowa don’t you?”

Me: “Yep.”

(‘Iowa’ is Slipknot’s longest song, running over fifteen minutes and rather obscene.)

Dad: “Well [stepmom], you asked for it.”

(After that, I was no longer required to go on family trips.)