Less Number Two On Date Number Two

(I’ve just started dating a guy that I met whilst at a festival. Our feelings are strong for each other even though it’s only been a matter of weeks. This takes place in a popular restaurant.)

Boyfriend: “I shouldn’t have ordered the hot chicken. Medium would have done perfectly. My mouth is on fire!”

Me: “It’s not your mouth I feel sorry for. It’s the wrath you will force upon the toilet tomorrow morning. It’ll be like pooping out lava from a volcano!”

Boyfriend: “This is why I love you.”

(His eyes resemble a deer in headlights after he realises what he’s just said.)

Me: “It took a comment about lava poo to tell me you love me? I’ll take that! I love you too, babe.”

(That was almost 3 years ago, we’re now engaged to be married!)