(It’s my first day of high school, and I’m sitting in my history class. My teacher is explaining that he has ADD, so a lot his time in the classroom will be spent walking around and changing subjects.)

Teacher: “And that’s why you’ll see me fiddling with my wedding ring. Unless my wife is here, then I don’t.”

Us: *laughs*

Teacher: “Anyway, we’ll be covering a lot of topics this year…”

(He goes on for a few minutes about what we’ll be learning. Suddenly, he stops and looks at his wedding ring.)

Teacher: “And the really cool thing about this ring? It bounces!”

(He takes it off and throws it on the ground. Sure enough, it bounced about three feet in the air. He put it back on and continued talking about what we’d be doing for the year.)

(I am in a media-related course for my major. It is finals week and my classmates and I are in one of the computer lab spaces waiting for our professor to give us the exam.)

Professor: “I’m going to give you a choice. You can either take this exam and take the grade you get, or you can not take the exam, keep the grade you have now, and come eat lunch and watch [Online News Broadcast] with me in the studio.”

(We all checked our grades and decided to have lunch with him and watch the newscast. Best. Final. Ever.)

(I have been hearing all sorts of scary stories about how dangerous it is at the college I am going to go to. Among the stories is ‘there were 15 rapes in 14 days there!’ I am quite gullible, and rather apprehensive about leaving home. When I check into my dorm, the following conversation ensues:)

Resident Advisor: “Do you have any medical problems we should know about?”

Me: “No.”

Resident Advisor: “Do you have a car?”

Me: “No.”

Resident Advisor: “Do you have a gun?”

Me: “Do I need one?!”

(I’m in French class, studying text analysis. As I’ve always been very good at it, I find the classes boring and tend not to listen much. At the time of this story, my teacher is analyzing a sonnet in class while I do something else.)

Teacher: “Okay, so can anyone tell me what kind of sonnet this is?”

Students: “Um…”

Teacher: “Come on. I taught you this last week. What kind of sonnet is this?”

(The class is silent. I keep scribbling on my paper.)

Teacher: “[My Name], you’re not listening.”

Me: *without looking up* “I am. It’s a Petrarchan sonnet.”

Teacher: *surprised* “That’s correct. Still, I’d like you to be fully engaged in class. What are you writing there?”

Me: “A sonnet of my own.”

(After that, the teacher left me alone for the rest of the year!)

(I am going away with my family and missing a week of school. I approach all of my teachers ahead of time to ask for assignments I might be missing. Most of them give me work or sections of the textbook to study while I’m away, but the following happens with my geography teacher:)

Me: “Hi, Ms. [Teacher]. I’m going to be away next week, and I’m wondering if you have any readings or assignments I can take with me so I’m not behind when I get back?”

Teacher: “I don’t plan my lessons that far in advance! You’ll just have to get the work from me when you get back and do it then!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I come back after my vacation and approach my geography teacher to ask her for any work that I missed while I was away.)

Me: “Hi, Ms. [Teacher]. Can you tell me what work I missed while I was away last week?”

Teacher: “What?! You missed a huge assignment last week. We had the computer lab booked the whole week to work on it, and everyone’s already submitted it! You should have asked me for the work before you left!”

Me: *shocked* “But I did, and you told me you didn’t plan your lessons that far in advance and to get the work when I got back.”

Teacher: “I never would have said that! Don’t make up lies! You’re getting zero on the assignment, and next time get the work before you leave!”

(I was too shocked to do anything further about it, but figured it was no big deal, and I would still pass because I usually get good grades. It turned out that WAS a HUGE assignment, because I got 40% on my mid year grade! Thankfully, I was still able to pass the class at the end of the year, with a 62%: my lowest mark in all of high school.)