Just Say “Loan Approved” And Hang Up  

(Our company has a very similar number — the same number but in a slightly different order — to a popular banking institution. These kinds of calls are received on a daily basis. To get to my department, clients need to go through a full message which mentions our company name no fewer than three times.)

Me: “Good afternoon. You’ve reached [Company]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “How are you?”

Me: “Fine, thanks, and yourself?”

Caller: “I’m good, thank you. My ID number is [number].”

(We get this fairly often, and while we do store ID numbers for security purposes, we can’t search by them. These clients are almost always looking for the bank.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We aren’t able to search for clients by ID number. Are you sure that you are phoning for [Company]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Great. Can you give me your full name?”

Caller: *gives name*

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have any customers by that name. Are you sure that you are looking for [Company]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay. Can you let us know what services you have with us?”

Caller: “I applied for a loan with you.”

Me: “Sir, we are an Internet service provider. Are you not looking for [Bank]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “You have dialed the wrong number. This is [Company] not [Bank].”

Caller: “No, I called [eleven digit phone number].”

Me: “Sir, that is eleven digits. Phone numbers can only be ten digits.”

Caller: “But I got your number from your website.”

Me: “Yes, but you have dialed the wrong number. Dial again carefully.”

Caller: “No, this is [Bank].”

Me: “No, it is [Company].”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Sir, you have dialed the wrong number. Dial again carefully.” *hangs up*

(Two minutes later, my colleague picks up a call.)

Colleague: “Sir, are you looking for [Bank]?”