Intercomical

(It’s after closing time at work, and it’s just me and a guy left on the floor. I’m across the store yelling to him, but he goes on the intercom.)

Him: “Look! Isn’t this funny? You have to yell, and I just have to talk.”

Me: “Yeah, yeah, really funny. What else needs to be done?”

Him: “Doesn’t matter. I sound like God!”

Me: “Come on, please? I just want to get out of here.”

Him: “[My name] smells!”

(Giving up, I walk over to the office to clock out.)

Him: “Wait! You don’t really smell! I was just using your name in a comical way in a failed attempt to be funny.”

Me: “Ha. Thanks, I guess?”

Him: *still on the intercom* “You actually smell very good. Want to see a movie on Friday?”