His Own Pet Project

(I am with a group of around 40 coworkers at a training session before the holiday park opens for the summer season. One of my coworkers is pretty unpopular due to being withdrawn, quietly aggressive and generally giving off a weird and creepy vibe. As part of the training session our manager asks us for examples of incidents that we should report to security should we come across them in the course of our work. There is silence for a minute or two while everybody is thinking.)

Weird Coworker: *in a flat, matter of fact voice* “People killing their pets”

(We all turn to look at him unbelievingly, waiting for him to repeat thinking surely we didn’t hear him right.)

Weird Coworker: *again, perfectly matter of fact* “You know, like if a customer was killing their dog. We should report that.”

Manager: “Um, yeah… you should report that.”

Everyone Else: “…”